Until I Die Again [On The Way To Heaven] (Soul Change Novel) Read online

  Hallie pulled up in front of the high tech health club and reluctantly allowed the young valet to park her car. Music pounded throughout the large room crammed with chrome work-out machines and mirrors that made the place seem infinite. Two muscle-bound men walked by, murmuring a hello as their eyes roamed down her shiny green workout outfit. She had spent two hours in the mall looking for clothes that were more suited to her old tastes and body. Well, perhaps a little more daring.

  “Ha-a-allie! Over here!” Joya’s voice called out over the music. She was in full makeup, wearing a deep purple one-piece outfit that was made to camouflage bulges and accentuate her large chest. “Come on, I’ll walk you to the locker room so you can put your stuff away.”

  When they returned, Hallie followed Joya to a pair of stationary bikes. Twenty minutes in, Joya’s eyes were getting more of a workout than her pedallingpedaling legs, checking out every guy who passed by. Then she turned to Hallie. “You know, I can’t get used to you not wearing makeup. And perfume. It’s too weird.”

  As Chris, she had worn little makeup. As Hallie, she would have to wear more of it. “I didn’t have time this morning.”

  Joya’s mouth dropped open. “I can’t believe I’m hearing that you didn’t have time to make yourself up. The world used to wait for Hallie to get ready.”

  Hallie shrugged. “Guess I’ve changed. Joya, can I ask you something? Why does Jamie dislike you so much?”

  Joya laughed. “That obvious, huh?”

  Hallie flushed, embarrassed at having been so blunt. Her curiosity was getting the best of her manners. “Well, not obvious, but I can tell. Sort of. So what happened?”

  Joya smirked. “He never liked me. I didn’t meet him until right before you two got married. After the wedding, I didn’t see much of you. Then, after you’d been married about a Year, you started flying back to California a lot, staying with me. He figured I was a bad influence on you because you got pretty wild after that. Oh, and there was something else. The three of us went out juking one night, and you and I got trashed. I suggested that you, Jamie, and I have a @menage menagea trois. I have to admit, I was curious about how Jamie would be in bed. You said it sounded like fun too, but he exploded. He was so disgusted that you could share him, he dragged you right out of there.” She shrugged. “His loss.”

  Hallie tried to keep from showing the shock on her face. “You mean that Ha—I would have let Jamie go to bed with you? I wouldn’t have minded?”

  She laughed loudly. “Minded? You would have been watching!”

  Hallie shuddered. She couldn’t imagine offering up the man she loved to her best friend. Or anyone.

  Joya flipped her hand. “Aw, I don’t think you’d do something like that if you were sober. But it sure was fun when we did it with Tony.”

  Hallie’s eyebrows went up, and she half-whispered, “Tony? You mean you and I… with some guy?”

  Joya licked her lips. “Uh hmm. Too bad you don’t remember. That guy was in ecstasy.” She looked at Hallie’s expression. “You and I didn’t do anything together! We just took turns doing him. It was fun.”

  Hallie picked up the pace of her pedallingpedaling, deciding to change the subject. “Did I like the opera?”

  Joya shrugged. “You told me you did, but I think you just wanted to seem uppity and socially correct.”

  “I’m going tonight. With Jamie.”

  Joya raised an eyebrow. “Really? Now that’s surprising.”

  “Because he hates the opera?”

  “That and because you two aren’t exactly the wonderful little couple anymore. Aren’t you still getting a divorce?”

  “Well, I guess. In any case, he’s leaving soon. I told him I bought the opera tickets for him.”

  That raucous laugh sounded again. “You’re such a liar! At least that hasn’t changed. You were planning to surprise Mick with them. It’s his favorite opera, you told me.”

  “I convinced Jamie, well, I don’t think I actually convinced him, but I talked him into going. I wasn’t sure who I had planned to take, but I don’t want to go with Mick.”

  Joya crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Hallie with interest, pedallingpedaling all the while. “What’s going on between you and Mick anyway?”

  “He scares me.”

  Joya sputtered. “It’s about time you saw what a slime he is.”

  “You know?”

  “Yes, and did I try to tell you five hundred times?” She placed a perfectly manicured hand against her chest. “As your best friend, yes, I did tell you. Did you listen? Absolutely not.”

  “Why did sh—I keep seeing him then?”

  Joya became serious. “I think you were afraid of him, but you wouldn’t admit it. Maybe he threatened to do something if you left him. Do you remember anything about him? About your relationship?”

  Hallie shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself as a chill washed over her. “No, but I’m learning fast. He snuck up on me when I was walking around the estate. It was as if he was… watching for me. Waiting. And he asked me about something called the Manderlay. Do you know anything about that?”

  “The gem that was stolen from Dave Wainthorpe’s home? Why would he ask you about that?”

  “I don’t know. Who’s Dave Wainthorpe?”

  “He’s a friend of Jamie’s. In fact, you two had dinner at his house the night before the robbery. Good thing it didn’t happen while you were all there.”

  They moved over to the stair machines next to the free weight area. Joya walked to the one nearest the benches and seductively twisted around to give the men nearby a view of her behind. Once settled onto their machines, Joya whispered to Hallie, “The one in the pink shirt’s mine. I think his name is Chad. Last time we saw them here, they invited us out on their boat for an afternoon cruise. Why don’t I see if he and his friend in the yellow are up for”—she wiggled her eyebrow–—”a little fun.”

  Hallie’s looked at the hulking, grunting, sweaty men Joya referred to. She wasn’t ready, nor did she want to be ready, to have a little fun with them. Bulky muscles had never turned her on. She was more into physiques like Jamie’s, impressive without being unnatural.

  “No, I don’t think so. Joya, we’re both married women. Didn’t that matter to us?”

  Joya smiled. “Not so much.”

  Jamie slipped into the bedroom Hallie was using and pulled his tuxedo out of the armoire. Steam rolled down the hallway that led to the large, glass-enclosed shower. She had been in there forever, and he wanted to get his tux out so Solomon could press it. Why did he agree to go to the opera with her anyway? She had given him that look, that pleading puppy-eyed look he’d never seen before. He would have to be careful about that. This was the last time she was getting her way.

  An hour later, he knocked on her door. “Hallie, we’d better get going.” He had thought she’d get caught up in something while she was in the city with Joya and not come home until late. Or at least until it was too late to go to this damned opera. But she had surprised him by returning with plenty of time to spare.

  “I’m coming!”

  She opened the door. They both stared at each other, then cleared their throats and looked in the other direction. He glanced back uneasily at her, trying to put casualness in the gesture.

  “You look nice.” And he meant it. She wore a stunning calf-length dress that brought out that new deepness in her blue eyes. Her dress didn’t reveal most of her cleavage, in fact, didn’t reveal any skin at all. The collar went right up to her neck, finished off with an amber brooch. Her hair tumbled in big curls over her shoulders, not in that wild frenzy she usually sent it in. Her makeup was light and natural, not overdone. Elegant was not a word he would have ever used in describing Hallie, but she was it now. She looked uneasy, and he realized he’d been scrutinizing her.

  “You look nice, too,” she said. “Sorry I took so long. Let’s go.”

  In the garage, Hallie walked to the passenger s
ide of the car, and Jamie opened the door for her. The setting sun created a warm, peaceful feeling in the car. He glanced over at her and found her looking out the window and fidgeting. It seemed as if a stranger sat beside him. She looked like his wife. And she smelled like her, too much perfume smothering the air. He couldn’t quite pinpoint the feeling, but she didn’t feel like Hallie anymore.

  He turned up the stereo, changing the satellite radio to the hard rock one. How deep that change had gone was something Mick could figure out. And that was strange too. Why wasn’t she with him now? Jamie had figuratively opened the door for her to go live with the jerk, but she had stayed. These opera tickets, too. He knew she had not bought these tickets with him in mind, yet she didn’t want to take Mick. In fact, she had used her wiles to coerce him to go with her. He shifted in the seat, his thoughts making him feel uncomfortable.

  Dinner didn’t go much further to settle his nerves. Oh, the service was impeccable, as usual, the food delightful. The conversation was polite, and that was not usual. And there were a few surprises, too.

  “You never liked salmon,” he remarked after she had ordered. “You always said it was too fishy tasting.”

  She frowned. “Oh. Guess I’ll order the steak then. Medium?”

  “Medium rare…”

  The waiter gave them an odd look, but Jamie didn’t bother to explain.

  She ordered an ice tea instead of a glass of wine. After he said something about that, she added wine to her order, then ended up drinking the tea anyway. She put pepper on everything but never once used the salt. He looked across at her as she scooped the last bit of potato out of the skin.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat this much. Ever.” He tried to make his remark sound light, but she wrinkled her forehead.

  “Oh. I guess I’m just extra hungry, that’s all.”

  He smiled. “I’m not trying to be derogatory, Hallie. I like to see a woman eat and not pick at her food and complain about her weight like you used to do.”

  Her eyebrows formed a frown. “Do I have a weight problem?”

  “You used to when you were younger. Before I met you. I never see you eat much, and you’re always complaining about dieting.”

  She pushed her empty plate away. “Guess I’ll pass on dessert then.”

  He glanced at his watch. “We’d better get going anyway.”

  As they waited for the attendant to retrieve the Porsche, Hallie asked, “Did I go to the health club a lot?”

  His right eye involuntarily narrowed at her. “Every time we came to Los Almeda you went with Joya.”

  “Did I like going?”

  He looked away. “Apparently. You spent five or six hours in San Diego every time you went.” He didn’t feel like getting into what she really liked about the club. Damn, why did it still bother him? He couldn’t wait for the evening to end. Or their marriage.

  When they walked up to the San Diego Opera, Hallie looked around at everything as if she was seeing it for the first time. He found himself smiling at the sparkle in her eyes as she watched beautifully dressed people flitting by. It reminded him of the first time he’d taken her to an opera, because she wanted to see what it was like. Back then everything awed and delighted her. After a while, she got used to it.

  They were escorted to their seats, and Hallie sat up straight and looked around the theater, taking in every detail. Then she concentrated on her program. When the lights went down, she leaned forward and watched intently. Was her face glowing?

  “This is completely excellent!” she said in her old way.

  Ah, thank you for that. It reminded him that her facade, whether intentional or not, would soon fade away to reveal the woman he knew so well. He was glad she’d refreshed his memory.

  CHAPTER 6

  The opera had been underway for twenty minutes. Everyone was watching and enjoying the show. The sound was clear, the view excellent, the seats comfortable. And Hallie was bored out of her mind. She glanced over at Jamie, who was staring off in a direction other than the stage. Now she realized the sacrifice he had made in coming here with her. Every time the tenor hit a high note, she cringed. The droning, unintelligible singing was ripping right into her nerves. She looked around incredulously. Were these people actually enjoying this? Or were they pretending as Hallie had done for so long?

  Her thoughts wandered. She wasn’t sure if her efforts at putting makeup on had been successful or not, the way he’d studied her with an inscrutable expression. That was probably good, because Jamie excelled in keeping his thoughts from his face. And showing them when he wanted to—usually when it was disdain he felt for her. She had seen none of that, nor impatience at her taking so long. She had put makeup on the way Hallie had in her videos—and hated it. Stripping it all off again and washing her face, she applied just a light touch instead.

  And that god-awful perfume. The blue bottle, Sexual Infinity, had smelled good when she’d sniffed the nozzle. The first time she pressed the pump, it just dribbled out. Hallie must have had trouble with it before; the top had been pried off to replace the sprayer. When she pressed it again, the perfume doused her. Even after trying to wash that off, she still reeked of it.

  Hallie was taking shape in her mind, through the videos, her friends, and mostly her husband. She glanced at Jamie again, admiring his profile. When he started to turn toward her, she averted her gaze, pretending to enjoy the show. Then she realized something: she didn’t want to pretend anymore. Sure, she would have to pretend to be Hallie, because she was Hallie. But she didn’t have to pretend to like wine and opera, to hate salmon.

  She made a mental list of the woman whose place she had taken. She was a cheat. A flirt. Selfish. Thoughtless. By God, the woman was a slut. She glanced down. I don’t even know where this body has been. She had some ideas, and she didn’t like them. Her gaze moved to Jamie again. Hallie had made love to him. The thought made her curious about their lovemaking. Had it been passionate? Fulfilling? Those thoughts tickled through her.

  Jamie looked over, catching her staring at him. She was glad the darkness kept her blush a secret. But her smile, now that was hard to miss. It didn’t look like the pleasant smiles on the other people’s faces. No, she was sure hers was frisky.

  He leaned over. “What are you grinning about? I don’t see anything funny.”

  His whisper tickled her ear, sending a shiver down her neck. She nodded toward a man she’d spotted earlier. “What do you think? A toupee? Or a bush?”

  The man’s dark, thick hair abruptly stopped two-thirds down and turned into thin, graying hair.

  Jamie grinned. “That’s the most entertaining thing I’ve seen yet.”

  Hallie giggled. “What about that couple over there?” Three rows ahead and to the right a young man’s black hair stuck up in points all around his head. His companion’s head looked more like six o’clock shadow, her scalp showing through the tiny hairs struggling to grow back.

  He looked at her with a surprised smile, then took a lock of her hair in his hand and whispered, “You’d look great in that hairstyle of hers.” He glanced around. “Anyone got any scissors?”

  She laughed and pulled away. “No! Don’t touch my hair.”

  The people sitting near them turned to give them looks meant to hush. Hallie didn’t care. She leaned over and quietly said, “Only if you get your ears pierced and wear earrings like his.”

  He looked at the punkish man she’d indicated, with three inch handcuff earrings dangling from both ears and a spike through his eyebrow.

  “In one ear or both?”

  “Both.”

  “Hmm.” He looked at her hair again. “It’d be worth it. I’ll find an ear piercing shop, you find a hair dresser. Or a hair undresser, as the case would be.”

  As if they were both imagining the other without hair or with funky earrings, they started laughing. Several people turned and shhhh’d them. He laughed when she stuck her tongue out at the back of their heads
.

  He whispered, “Darn, they might never let us in here again.”

  She turned to respond and found her nose touching his. Their gazes locked and their smiles faded. Something unravelled inside, freeing her heart to jump around. And words sang to her from a distance, sweet, melodious words.

  Find his heart.

  The impact of what those words meant sent her backwards, and she stared into the darkness around her while trying to catch her breath. When she looked at Jamie, he seemed stunned, too. And a little annoyed with himself. He stared at the stage, and she knew darn well he wasn’t interested in anything up there.

  “I know you hate this stuff as much as I do, so don’t pretend that you’re all of a sudden enjoying it,” she said.

  He looked at her, causing her heart to increase its rhythm. “I need an intermission. Let’s get out of here.”

  Taking her hand, he pulled her from the seat and headed toward the exit doors. The grumps mumbled their wishes that their departure be permanent. When they reached the fresh air outside, their laughter resounded through the parking lot. He clamped his arm around her shoulder and steered her toward the car. She was almost disappointed when they reached the Porsche and he removed his arm to open the door for her. After getting in, he turned to her.

  “I think that’s the most fun I’ve ever had at one of those things.” Then he looked ahead, and an uneasiness passed over his features.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, desperately wanting the mood to continue.

  “I’m not used to having fun with you anymore, Hallie. It seems strange.” He backed the car up and pulled to the exit.

  “So? What’s wrong with having fun with me?”

  He looked at her for the longest time. “There’s been so much between us.”

  She ventured to reach out and touch the hand resting on the gear shifter. “Can’t we forget the past?”

  His laugh held no humor. “That’s easy for you to say. You have forgotten the past. I can’t do that, even if I wanted to.”