Until I Die Again [On The Way To Heaven] (Soul Change Novel) Read online

  “We’ve got to have a talk about your hairpieces, Hallie.”

  She grinned. “He’s on my hair, isn’t he?”

  He moved closer to retrieve the monkey, but on the way decided to kiss her instead. More tender than the night before, without the senseless, physical lust, he touched his lips to hers. She kissed back tentatively, her eyes filled with question.

  His hands trailed around her back, and he closed his eyes and kissed her again, this time letting his tongue tickle along her lips. He heard her sigh, then her mouth opened in invitation. Her hands slipped around his neck, and he pulled her close against him, feeling her curves and remembering how perfectly their bodies fit together. He explored her mouth, the faint taste of toothpaste combining with her sweetness.

  He tasted her again and again, exploring, moving against her. She, who had never liked French kissing, moved her tongue through his mouth like a woman tasting chocolate after a long diet. His hands moved up and cupped her face, his thumbs caressing the softness of her cheeks.

  A shrill chattering noise jarred his attention from her, and he looked up to the monkey still clutching her hair. His fingers had been pressed against its tail, and once released, the monkey clambered on top of Hallie’s head.

  He reached out and took the monkey from its perch, holding it out to her. She was looking at Jamie, oblivious for a moment to the monkey in front of her. Finally, she held out a finger, and the monkey jumped onto her hand. She touched its back, and Jamie ran his fingers down its striped tail. The light brown fur was coarse at the outer edges, but soft underneath. Their fingers touched, and as if exchanging static electricity, pulled away.

  “What are you going to name him?” Jamie asked, desperately trying to break up the tension that crackled around them.

  “Name him? I can’t keep him; he belongs in the wild.” She kept her gaze carefully away from his, making it hard to read her expression.

  “If you want him, make him your own.”

  Her gaze lifted to his. “What are we talking about here?”

  He couldn’t help but smile, wondering himself exactly what he’d meant. “The monkey, of course. What else would I be talking about?”

  “I can’t imagine,” she said, averting her gaze again. She stroked the monkey’s fur, deep in thought. “If I show him my love, and he leaves anyway, I’ll let him go. I won’t cage him in or try to tempt him into staying with me. He has to want to be with me.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “The monkey.” She didn’t look at him, though he could see her expression was more serious than a monkey warranted.

  “I heard you had a little chat with Renee yesterday.”

  She looked at him then. “She told you?”

  “No, she told Miguel, and he felt obligated to let me know. Is that what prompted…last night?”

  Her blue eyes blazed at him. “I don’t want to talk about last night. It was dumb, and it’ll never happen again.”

  They stood in silence for a moment, her stroking the monkey, him watching the creature and feeling envious. If she cared, as she said she did, then she would ask if what Renee had said was true. He realized that he had also led her to believe they had something between them by not denying it earlier. Four people had let her think he was having an affair with Renee. Would she ask?

  She turned to him. “Dammit, Jamie, do you intend to stick me in a bungalow so you can move her in? Do you love her?”

  His heart swelled, giving another indication that it was still there, pulling itself back together a shard at a time. If he told her that he loved Renee, Hallie might give up and leave. Or she might not.

  “No, I don’t love her.”

  She crossed her arms, her bottom lip pushed out. “And you’ve never made love to her?”

  “No.”

  “Have you ever kissed her?”

  “Yes.” When he saw the disappointment on her face, he felt obliged to add, “On the cheek.”

  Hallie’s eyes softened, and she looked at the monkey before returning her gaze to him. “How about George?”

  “No, I’ve never kissed him either. Who’s George?”

  She giggled, and held up the monkey. “How about George for his name?”

  He wanted to kiss her again, wanted to feel her body against his. But there was a part of him that wanted to say something, anything, to push her away. What were her motives? Love, after all this time? Security? Or temporary insanity?

  He nodded toward the resort. “I’ve got to get back to work.”

  Her smile dissolved. “Sure. George and I will just keep exploring.”

  He turned and headed back to civilization, to where the orchids’ heady perfume and solitude didn’t make him want to do rash things.

  CHAPTER 12

  Hallie was being scrutinized, and she didn’t like it one bit. It was enough that Jamie sometimes looked at her as if she was an alien, but now Miguel and Renee sat at the table watching her with curious glances.

  It was the first time in two days since their kiss in the jungle that Jamie had been around, and it was in the company of his brother and the woman who wanted Jamie for herself. She had made that abundantly clear since Hallie had arrived at BooNooNoos, the open-aired restaurant.

  Hallie did her best to ignore all three and immerse herself in the atmosphere of “Jamaican Night.” Every week Caterina threw a big party complete with a reggae band, unlimited rum punch and an endless buffet. Hallie had sampled the red beans, jerk pork, and fried plantains, but her appetite was far from ravenous.

  She was also playing the watching game, inconspicuously studying her competition, comparing Renee’s body and the body she inhabited. Renee wore a puckered mini-dress in a leopard print. She was much shorter than Hallie, and a bit heavier. Hallie’s morning swims at the beach had done much to tone and strengthen her body. Now in one of the former Hallie’s sexy sundresses, she was glad she had done the work.

  “Excuse me.” Jamie included everyone at the table in his sweeping glance. “The Newtons head out tomorrow, and I want to say goodbye.”

  When Hallie tore her gaze away from Jamie’s white pants and flowered shirt, she saw that Renee had not been so prudent. Raw desire filled her eyes and made her run her tongue subconsciously over her full lips. Hallie’s gaze moved to Miguel, watching Renee with an ache visible on his expression before he banked it. Ah hah. He was in love with Renee.

  Despite his hostility toward her, Hallie had a whole new respect for him. It was obviously in his best interest to get her and Jamie together. Yet he had tried to get Hallie to give up on Jamie, because he didn’t want to see his brother hurt again.

  Miguel’s eyes shifted to meet hers, and she heard herself say, “Thank you,” before she could think twice.

  “For what?”

  “Uh, taking care of Jamie.”

  Renee moved her punch glass clumsily aside. “Why don’t you thank me? I take care of Jamie, too.” Renee leaned forward, almost in Hallie’s face. “You think you can pretend to forget the past and everyone else will, too. But you’re wrong, honey. Wrong.”

  “I am not pretending. And I really don’t care what you think. As far as I’m concerned, you’re a lying, conniving”—she glanced at Miguel—”birch.” She saw the twitch of a smile he couldn’t hide.

  “A what? What did you call me?”

  Renee stood, but Hallie remained seated.

  “Go to hill, Renee.”

  As anger exploded on Renee’s expression, she leaned toward Hallie.

  “What’s going on here?”

  Jamie’s voice halted Renee, and she turned to him with a smile. “Just girl talk,” she said sweetly.

  Jamie glanced at Miguel, whose smirk was threatening to give way to complete laughter. He just shook his head. Jamie’s gaze then fell to Hallie, and she shrugged.

  “She was telling me what hair color she uses.”

  Jamie looked at them both with suspicion.

  Renee narrowe
d her eyes at Hallie, then stood and leaned close to Jamie. “Dance with me. I love this song.”

  He glanced at Hallie, then back to Renee. “I’ve got to check on the entertainment in a minute.”

  She pulled at his arms. “Okay, let’s dance for a minute.”

  He followed her to the dance floor in front of the band. Hallie turned away, determined not to let them see her watching.

  “Birch. I love it.”

  Hallie looked with surprise at Miguel. “I would have rather called her something else, but I like your way of substituting other words for the more crass ones.”

  His eyes sparkled, giving him a youthful look despite his ruggedness. “Actually, the word we use is witch with a capital B. You had every right to put her in her place. I think she’s feeling more and more threatened by you.”

  “Good. She’s missing out on something special by being blinded by Jamie.”

  Miguel stared at her for a moment, possibly trying to figure out what she meant. Then the black fire man came out and dazzled the audience with his skills. He stuck flaming sticks into his mouth, juggled them, and ran them along his skin. Two other men clad in colorful pants brought out a limbo stick. The fire man set it aflame, and everyone cheered when he limboed seven times under increasingly lower heights.

  “Now it be everyone else’s turn to limbo,” he said, looking around with startling white eyes.

  “No!” was everyone’s animated response.

  “You all be chickens, mon?”

  The audience booed him.

  He shrugged. “Okay, how ‘bout I kill the fire. Then you come limbo with me?”

  Some yelled yes, some no. In the end, a line of about forty people formed to try their hand at limbo. Hallie and Miguel got separated from their group. Caught up in the mood, she danced to the beat as she waited her turn.

  “Why did you thank me for taking care of Jamie?” he asked from behind her.

  “I realized that when you asked me to leave, you were giving away your hope for getting Renee to let Jamie go.”

  He cocked his head away from her. “You know? How I feel about Renee?”

  “I can tell. No, you’re not as obvious as Renee is. It was a noble thing to do.”

  “So you’re thanking me for telling you to leave?”

  “Well, sort of. For the reason you did it.”

  He shook his head, a wry grin on his face. “Jamie’s right. You are different.”

  Renee got out on her second try, Miguel on his fourth. The line dwindled down as the limbo stick lowered. Before long, she and Jamie were reunited, standing with four other nimble people.

  “Must be all the swimming we do,” she said to Jamie when he walked up behind her.

  “Uh hm.”

  She took in the strange look he was giving her and sighed. “I suppose I never did this kind of thing before either?”

  “Nope. You never even liked to watch it. Something about it being silly nonsense.”

  She reached up and tweaked his chin. “Bet’cha I beat you.”

  She overestimated her confidence and bumped the stick off its holders. Jamie also knocked it off. The winner was a fourteen-year-old girl who was as skinny as the limbo stick. She got a miniature trophy.

  Jamie and Hallie returned to the table laughing together, and Miguel congratulated them on a job well done.

  Jamie shrugged. “You have to let the guests win, but we put in a good showing.”

  Oops! I was having so much fun, I didn’t realize the owners aren’t supposed to win. Good thing I messed up.

  Renee stood and wavered. Her face was shiny red as she looked from Miguel to Jamie. “I can’t believe you two! You’re treating her like she’s some sort of…of…angel. Have you forgotten what she’s done? She’s putting on this act of innocence, and you’re buying it!” She focused on Jamie. “And you. How can you forgive a woman who came on to your own brother?” She dropped back into her chair, glaring at all of them.

  Hallie’s heart tightened.

  Jamie looked at her, then at Miguel. “Is it true?”

  Miguel shot Renee a look that would have surely burned a hole right through her, then looked at Jamie.

  “It was more like flirting. It was no big deal, nothing happened. I babbled it to Renee once and made her promise not to say anything.”

  Jamie turned to Hallie, and she swallowed audibly. “When?”

  “About a year ago,” Miguel said.

  “You slug in a ditch. Why didn’t you tell me? I had a right to know. Not her.” He pointed at Renee. “Me.”

  “I didn’t see the need to tell you. She was drunk, in one of her unhappy moods. I turned her down, and it never happened again.”

  Jamie turned narrowed eyes to Hallie, and she shrunk under his wintry glare.

  “My own brother?”

  “Jamie,” she said softly, although Miguel and Renee were still within earshot. “The Hallie you married, the one who flirted with Miguel, is dead. Gone. I’m different now.” She turned to Miguel. “Have I flirted with you since?”

  “No,” Jamie said harshly, “but you were out there dancing with him in the line. You can’t get me to screw you, so you’re trying out my brother again.”

  His words bit into her like the teeth of a shark. She had been accused of coming onto Miguel, and now everyone at the table knew she had tried to make love to Jamie and failed. Her heart twisted inside her, but nothing could keep her hand from slapping Jamie’s cheek.

  “You had no right to say that,” she whispered hoarsely.

  She turned and walked calmly out of the restaurant, holding back tears until she was walking alone on the softly lit pathway. Damn Renee and damn Jamie, too. Damn them all! She found herself heading toward the little bar Juicy manned, but it was dark. Laughter from several people in the bubbly cauldron of the hot tub made her feel like an ink blot in the colorful night. She climbed into one of the swinging chairs and laid her head down on the tile surface of the bar, trying to remember a kiss that felt years away.

  After a day of holing himself up in his office, and not going home the night of the BooNooNoos disaster, Jamie stretched and glanced out the window. The setting sun made the cloudless sky look like orange juice. A warm, salty breeze beckoned him to abandon his computer and free his mind of numbers.

  He passed several couples, young and old, sitting together on the white chaise lounges with their arms wrapped around each other. Ah, the romance of Caterina. He harnessed his thoughts lest they roam to people he had no desire to think about.

  Too late. His fists clenched in unleashed anger at Hallie. She had come onto his own brother. Jamie didn’t doubt that Miguel had turned her down. He also understood why he had never told Jamie about it. But the past was irrelevant, at least for Hallie. The embarrassed, blank look on her face indicated that she had no memory of the incident.

  The outgoing tide left the beach a wide, sloping expanse of smooth sand. He passed the bulk of Caterina and where his own house peered out through the greenery to the solitude beyond. He stared out over a sea that was as a calm as a lake. Three seagulls splashed down in the water, and he watched them bob and search for food.

  When arms slipped around his waist, Jamie knew instantly that they didn’t belong to Hallie. A head rested against his back with a sigh.

  “Jamie, can you forgive me for what I did?”

  He turned to find Renee’s soulful brown eyes staring up at him, filled with regret.

  “What exactly were you trying to prove?”

  She took hold of his hands and moved closer. “I had too much to drink and my judgment was off. I had no intention of blurting that out, believe me. But I sat there watching her, looking so innocent and comfortable after all she’s done to you. I hate her, and you should, too.”

  “Renee…”

  Her voice became breathy. “Jamie, I love you. Never would I hurt or betray you. Let me show you how a real woman loves her man.”

  She leaned up and touched h
er lips to his, slipping her arms around him again. From libido so recently awakened, he felt a low-voltage surge of desire. He wanted to hurt Hallie the way she’d hurt him. He pulled Renee up against him and kissed her back. She moaned and ran her tongue over his lips, asking for entrance.

  He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. Renee’s mouth didn’t fit over his right, her tongue probing at his lips didn’t tantalize him like—he shook the comparison from his mind and pulled her closer, feeling her soft curves. She didn’t fit against him like Hallie did, her body didn’t meld with his and turn him into jelly inside. And worse yet, his words about revenge not being a good reason for sleeping with someone came back to haunt him.

  He finished the kiss gently, turning it into small kisses before moving away. Renee, not realizing that it was over ran her hands over his chest and down his sides.

  “God, you’re beautiful. Come back to my place. Stay with me tonight.”

  He realized that sometimes being subtle wasn’t enough.

  “I can’t.”

  “Jamie, don’t. Don’t stop this. You can’t tell me you won’t make love to me because you’re married. Your marriage is over.”

  He reached out and touched her chin. “No, it’s not.”

  “Okay, not on paper, but you can’t still love her, Jamie.” Renee stamped her foot in the sand, sending it flying everywhere. “Not after all she’s done, you can’t still be in love with her!”

  He took a deep breath, because he was admitting this to himself for the first time. “I’m not sure how I feel about her. Since she came back from the coma, she’s a different woman. I need to find out if she’s going to stay that way or return to her old self. I can’t walk away from her, not now.”

  Renee leaned her head against his chest in defeat. “Dammit, you’re too good for her.” She looked up at him. “And if you think I’m going to give up on you, you’ve got one more thing coming.”

  “Renee, don’t interfere,”